Archive for the ‘film’ Category

I am here to purge, confess and giggle. Guilty pleasures. Everyone has them. And I’m about to share mine. I hope my readers comment on them. I’m digging in deep here.

Bare in mind that next month I turn 45 and that politically I am an extreme liberal. The political part will come into play.

I love a few Arnold Schwarzenegger movies. The Conan movies, True Lies, Kindergarten Cop and Twins! Yes, I know he is a politically conservative sexist pig. I can’t explain it!

Disaster movies are awesome! Why do I want millions to die? Sick.  Independence Day, 2012, Deep Impact, Armageddon and old school Poseidon Adventure.

I love all things related to Little House On The Prairie. Yes, I especially love the truly tragic episodes involving death, violence and shit-just-happens-to you occurrences. A pissed off and/or desperate Pa (Michael Landon) is priceless.

Under the good-dumb-fun category we have: Romy and Michelle’s High School Reunion, Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure, Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey, Tank Girl, This Is The End and Dogma.

I think it’s safe to say that most people think that if Keanu Reeves speaks as little as possible his films will do well. Case in point The Matrix trilogy and Speed. So why do I love the disastrous talkies : A Walk In The Clouds and Johnny Mnemonic? It’s so moronic that it’s brilliant!

I have seen all of the above about a thousand times and it never gets tires. One other discloser, I am married to a freelancer for the film and TV industry. I’m suppose to want more for my viewing pleasure … but I don’t.

My last theory is that I’m taking a lot of psychotropic drugs, but I was this way before the drugs. Oh well! It’s a lot more cool to be campy than to be un-campy. Pass the onion dip and chips. The sofa’s just fine.

 

 

 

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Some time ago, I posted about a movie titled This is the end. It was homoerotic, Biblical, Satanic and hilarious! It was the Apocalypse meets Animal House.

Jonah Hill (while playing himself) gets raped by a well endowed demon. He then reenacts The Exorcist in a very comical and vulgar way.

Well, I just got back from seeing The Wolf Of Wall Street with Leonardo DiCaprio and the ever so innocent Jonah Hill.  After playing himself as a sexually risqué evil bottom, Jonah took me (and other movie goers) on another ride.

I was warned that the movie was soft porn. I think soft porn gets a bad rap in this case.  I feel like I’ve seen more naked women than Hugh Hefner, Larry Flynt and Ron Jeremy combined.

Plus the fact that sweet innocent Jonah exposes a huge penis. I actually think that it wasn’t really ‘his’. The penis in the closing scene of Boogie Nights wasn’t real.

Anyway, The Wolf Of Wall Street has all the elements of the 80s. Plenty of hedonism, expensive toys, money worship and drugs galore.

I think it’s good to remember that with all the luxurious ‘stuff’ attained was pointless because it was never enough. In this class of Debauchery 101 all the sex and drug addiction gets to be really, truly sad.

It was depressing to watch. It actually made me cringe. I felt like I had to take a 5 hour shower. Well, that’s how it was for me anyway.

http://youtu.be/pabEtIERlic

The great Peter O’Toole’s response to questions in heaven.

I can’t make out if you’re a bloody madman or just half-witted. – St. Peter

I have the same problem, sir.

What do you think should be done with Guantanamo? – Edward R. Murrow

No prisoners! No prisoners!

There are rumors that you are gay. Will you now confirm or deny? – Sigmund Freud

My good man, what I choose to do with my schlong is my business!

Your works as a renown actor will be your legacy. – William Shakespeare

Damn you! I’m not an actor, I’m a movie star!

You’re plastered ? – Marilyn Monroe

So are some of the finest erections in Europe!