Normal

Posted: May 28, 2016 in Life

   For the past two weeks I’ve been going to outpatient physical therapy. It mercifully involves hot packs and back massages by a lovely PT. She worked with me after my knee replacement surgery and we get along great.
   I’ve also been blessed with muscle relaxants prescribed by my rock star neurologist. What does it do for me?  It makes me sleepy and decreases my back pain.
   The pins and needles sensation in my legs have greatly decreased, but I still have the weakness. On good days I use a cane to go out. On bad days it’s the walker. I’m noticing that stairs (my nemesis) aren’t as challenging as they use to be.
   My body doesn’t feel itself, but it can do more now. I can leave my house and visit with grateful people. Everyone thanks me and my husband for coming out. I make the effort because they’re worth it.
   Does this mean I’m inching my way back to normal? Normal has been such a world away from me for an eternity. My house is set up for a disabled, brain damaged writer. I can do a lot of things – with a few adjustments.
   Normal scares me because I don’t really remember who “normal me” is anymore. I still don’t want to drive. The old me drove everywhere and all the time. Is the old me still around? Maybe normal should just hang back for a while.

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