No Real Solution … Maybe

Posted: July 19, 2014 in Bipolar, Family, Friendship, Health, Life, mental health

Regardless of the fact that I take my Lithium, Seroquel, Zoloft and Lamectal every night the world can trump my psychiatric due diligence.  I use to think my pills could save me from everything.

The world showed me how the psychotically violent either went off their meds or was never on them to begin with. The message was take your meds and you’ll be just fine. Damn, I’m stupid.

So when human atrocities and cruelty happen across the globe and right here at home it can be devastating for me.The panic feeling wells up inside me. My muscles ache as if I had the flu. Then my mind decides to run a marathon without shoes.

Perhaps I should just turn off my TV, PC and Kindle. Even better I can just leave my husband, family and friends to reside in a lovely cave. Uh, no. I’ve gone too far. So what should I do?

I bet most readers of this post think I should just go to therapy. My psychiatrist prefers that I go but it’s not a priority for me. For one thing I’ve been therapist shopping and it isn’t easy. Chemistry has to be there.

Then I considered group therapy. I’ve been in 3 behavioral programs where I bonded with everyone. It’s nice to be in a group where everyone gets it . Downside is that creates an us versus them mentality. Transference rears its ugly head. Exits from the group feel like death.

My final options are to cry, blog and talk to my loved ones. I had these catastrophic feelings for most of my life. I remember how bad it got, but I have my trusty husband and Ativan now. 

 

 

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