So Christmas is just three weeks and one day away. Three weeks and one day of various seasonal forms of torture! Here’s my list of not-so-merry Christmas traditions.

Fruitcake is an absolute abomination! It’s too damn dense and sweet. Even the starving people reject. This is the Secret Santa gift you give to the coworker you hate.

The constant bombardment of Christmas music on the radio, in the malls and in every other public place imaginable. If I have to hear Santa Baby or White Christmas one more time …. I’ll convert to Islam! Okay, forget that last part.

Parking and shopping at the mall is worse than waterboarding!  The lines are a thousand miles long. Drivers are practically feral in finding a spot. Acquiring a bench or a restroom stall requires military tactics.

Okay, the extremely cheesy Christmas Specials on TV make we grateful I have cable and DVDs. I guess their target audience are those coming out of comas.

Christmas sweaters, dresses and other various forms of gaudy apparel. Wearing these awful things as kids was cruel. And as adults … I don’t get it! Why would you want to be a tacky, walking ad for Christmas?  Do you really want Rudolf’s or Santa’s head on your torso?

Last but not least, I hate that people really do forget what Christmas is all about. They over analyze, argue and decorate, instead of loving their friends and family. Christmas is about the birth of Jesus. Hope and humanity, people! Think of all the soldiers who can’t be with their loved ones and be grateful.

 

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Comments
  1. thehowlingfantogs says:

    Some great points. Must admit I’m guilty of one of those crimes though.

    Like

  2. Aimer Shama says:

    Great storytelling. Really liked the military tactics and Coma punchlines. I would so online if I were you.

    Like

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