Complaints-R-Us

Posted: September 4, 2013 in America, Jokes, Life, Mexico, Politics, Society
Tags: , , , ,

I’m a bit more crazy than usual. So, here’s my list of things I hate.

Driving Jerks

That asshole that speeds inches away from my parked car as I’m trying to get into it! Dude, there’s no traffic at all! You’re a tool.

The ass rider who thinks he’s going to get there faster if he piggy-backs my car! Here’s the cure. Drive as slow as humanly possible.

The neurotic left-hand lane turner: you have the arrow, it’s not going to get any greener and you’re sitting in the intersection waiting for what? Is it Elvis, The Apocalypse, a cure for male pattern baldness? Just make the damn turn already!

Stop Soliciting Me

I’m in my cozy, cool bed. Somewhere between awake and having Clive Owen pole dance in front of only me, then it happens. The phone rings and its the soul sucking telemarketer! Meet my friend click, you dick!  That bastard evicted Clive from dream. I tried to get him back, but it was no use.

Spam use to be a food (I never ate it) and now it’s a techno pest. I hope every spammer out there gets a raging yeast infection!

Random Pissy Stuff

Low Rider Vato cars that have La Cucaracha as a honk sound. It’s tacky Vatos!

Double Dippers are gross. For those who don’t know what a double dipper is : You place a chip into a dip, bite into half the chip and dip again (with your mouth germs on the half chip).

Gynecologists that want to make small talk and/or joke why they’re all up in you lady parts during a pap smear! Shut up and write me a letter later!

Shampoo suds in my ears after I exit the shower. I swear I rinsed more that enough!

Elitist snobs are everywhere. They don’t have to be rich either. What they need is to be brought down a peg or two. Do a little side suffering. It does an ego good.

Lastly, I hate people who thrive on the suffering of others. You know who you are.

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