Transfer This!

Posted: August 8, 2013 in Bipolar, Friendship, Health, Life, Love
Tags: , , , ,

A phenomenon occurs whenever I work with anyone for any type of therapeutic goal. I get attached … A LOT. I know it’s transference.

I know it happens often and it will go away. I can intellectualize this entire matter until I’m blue in the face.

Still, my psychological disorder demons park themselves on my shoulder. And I try to ignore them, but they’re real bastards!

Today is the last day of my physical therapy for my left knee. No, I will not give a tearful good-bye. I’ll cry in the car. Just kidding.

Truth is, the ladies at the office will be fine. Nobody’s dying. I can stop by once in a while. And I can make new friends at the YMCA, right?

But it is so damn hard !!! And exhausting. And tedious. And what if no one likes who I am? Ridiculous, right? I remember the feeling well.

When I left the psych ward several years ago I was very depressed. I was there for 10 days. Coming home to my husband and mother felt weird.

Happiness arrived when I enrolled in an outpatient group program. Again, transference was in play. I fell in love. Just not that way.

It’s not romantic, sexual or even friendship. It’s scary to feel so connected because of mutual psychological disorders.

They come from all walks of life and economic levels and everyone is needed. Desperation takes over in a bulldozer way!

This is why I can’t engage in that kind of therapy. Even having a behavioral therapist can be problematic. I must think it over before I submit to one.

In the mean time, my knee feels good and I have my beloved blog.


  1. kirs10woods says:

    Hello! It is good to know that your knee is doing good now… I also had physical therapy for my arthritic knee, hips, and feet, but it didn’t work for me, so I switched to stem cell treatment (after several months of waiting for the PT’s effect). Anyways, my stem cell went well and was successful (I am not sure why there are bad reviews about stem cell.. as far as I know, it is now being used as hair treatment and even in soap!). It was a 5-week treatment with my orthopedic surgeon, Dr Purita, who tentatively listened to my pains and frustrations… yeah, I was really, extremely frustrated for not being able to run for almost 3 years due to my joint pains… It has been 5 years and I have already increased my weekly running mileage and I am happy with it… Now, I am just looking for best practices (those who have/had joint problems but are able to run), diet, and stretching exercises… 🙂 I am hoping that you too will get over your knee problems, completely. Stay Safe! 🙂


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