Archive for August, 2013

In today’s job market, many recent college graduates might be tempted to list skills and talents on their résumés that might make them stand out. While this tactic might get you the job, it may hurt you down the line.

So here are a few skills and/or talents that in my opinion should never appear on a résumé. Unless, of course, your shooting for that lifestyle.

The ability to suck the chrome off a trailer hitch is not a marketable skill unless …. you know.

Cornering the bead market during Mardi Gras will guarantee that you have no future in politics, unless you want to intern forever.

Passing drug screening tests even though you snort, smoke and inject everything but the kitchen sink is not something to brag about!

Having boilermakers for breakfast and driving convincingly well is a talent you should keep to yourself.

Fifteen years experience as Dungeon Master in your grandmother’s basement with ten other virgins does not constitute management history!

Selling pot out of your dorm room does not constitute pharmaceutical distribution experience.

Getting out of jury duty ten times in a row is not even close to a legal apprenticeship.

If you’ve been burning or blowing things up since kindergarten, you are not law enforcement material. You’re incarceration material. Go talk to a nice doctor. NOW!

Finally, committing identity theft to funnel monies to a fake bank account is illegal and may just get that job on Wall St!

 

Anyone who knows me or has read my blog knows I love my country. More to the point, I love the people in my country. Of course, I mean the good-hearted people. So, do I love them enough to be loyal to them? Do I love them enough to pledge loyalty or allegiance  to them?

Those words are real game changers for me. I have always been blindly loyal and trusting to love interests, friends and family throughout my life. Why not? I know them, far more than most.

What is allegiance anyway? An allegiance is a duty of fidelity said to be owed by a subject or a citizen to his/her state or sovereign. A duty of fidelity that I owe to my government, right? Well that’s easy. My government is run by good-hearted, moral, selfless people who just love every single American (especially black and brown Americans)!

As a child, I was required to recite the pledge of allegiance in school, sporting events and even a few times in church. One day, someone (student or parent) opposed participation on the basis of religion. Then someone else refused to participate on the basis of principal.

If there is little loyalty from public servants to citizens, the pledge of allegiance is then a farce. The whole swearing in process of a politician turns into a photo-op and nothing more.

Today, the pledge of allegiance is recited in government buildings, boy/girl scout meetings, private clubs and I’m sure many other places. But not in public schools (in my neck of the woods, anyway).

I think we need a new pledge of allegiance. Participation is optional:

I pledge allegiance to all people who only wish to live in peace. I pledge my voluntary fidelity to all those that protect the victims of cruelty and indifference. I pledge loyalty to humanitarians that believe and don’t believe in God. I pledge to rise up for the preservers of life, the earth and dignity.  I willingly promise to never betray the trust of the trustworthy.

Shame On You

Posted: August 28, 2013 in America, Children, Music, sex, women
Tags: , , ,

I was not going to jump on the Miley Cyrus Bash Wagon, but I have zeroed in on my issue. I am a child of the 80s.

I know all about ‘artists’ simulating masturbation, oral, vaginal and anal sex on stage. Many stars have done it in various forms.

So why should I raise an eyebrow to Ms. Miley? She’s just trying to lose her sweet Hannah Montana image, right? She’s over 18.  If she wants to bump and grind on stage, that’s her right. Right?

WRONG! IF YOU WANT TO ACT SLUTTY ON STAGE, FINE. BUT MARKET YOURSELF TO ADULTS ONLY!

Problem 1. She and her dancers paraded out of a giant teddy bear! A TEDDY BEAR!  I give teddy bears to kids because teddy bears are for kids.

Problem 2. She and her dancers were wearing teddy bear costumes during the simulated masturbation and with her wardrobe change to a nude outfit.

Problem 3. She ‘performed’ on another singer while the ‘Teddy Bear’ theme was in full force.

Madonna, Prince, Britney Spears, Lady Gaga and many other have done what Miley did. But none of them used kiddy props and had prepubescent fans the way Miley does.

Shame on you, Miley!

Living in Los Angeles, I’ve heard some bonehead statements in my life. Some were tacky, ignorant or rude as hell. Hopefully this post will educate these social enigmas. But who are am I kidding?

It’s tacky to …

Ask if there’s more food at a funeral or wedding and then request a doggie bag!

Ask about the reading of the will after the death and before the funeral! If you do this, you’re a bottom-feeder.

Ask the employee you’re about fire to train the replacement! I have been the target of this screwed up practice. Everyone knew but me!

It’s ignorant  to …

Call all Spanish-speaking people Mexicans. There are 21 Spanish-speaking countries. If you don’t know, ask.

Assume all women who wear hijabs (headscarves) are foreigners. Muslims have been in North and South America since the 1500s!

Assume that every Italian and/or Italian business has ties to the Mafia/Mob.

It’s rude as hell …

To call all undocumented residents criminals. They wouldn’t come here if white men didn’t pay them (less than minimum wage) to work here.

To assume every Middle Eastern is a Muslim. Sikhs, Buddhists, Hindus, Christians and Jews are all over the Middle East, Asia and Africa.

To continue ranting that ‘brown’ people can’t be trusted. Brown people are taking care of your kids, cutting your lawn, fixing your car and building your home.

Native Americans, Latinos, Arabs and Persians are brown. No one raises an eyebrow when a Canadian or European is here illegally. Why is that?

 

 

 

 

 

I am a firm believer that the word childhood needs to be expanded. I think we are kidding ourselves if we think an 18 or even 21 year-old is an adult.

When a child is disciplined, the goal is supposed to be to teach the child empathy and remorse. When adults do something wrong the automatic knee jerk reaction is to cover it up.

When do we see empathy and remorse from our adult public figures? Empathy for their wrongdoings? Almost never. Remorse? Rarely. Just because you cry before a camera? That’s not remorse. It’s a fake, lousy act of quasi-contrition.

A voluntary press conference is an oxymoron. It’s a last-ditch effort to save your image or avoid indictment. Maybe it’s because we had no choice on punishment as children.

How many children (over 18) tell their parents ” You can’t tell me what to do anymore” ? Anymore is the key. Color me resentment! It’s the I’m grown mentality. But if money is short, you hear “What kind of parent doesn’t help out his own kid?”

Then we have society with all her glorious loopholes! Lawyers, PR staff, payoffs and the list goes on and on. Our only hope for the truth becomes a viral youtube video.

 

 

It’s official. America sucks! NYPD okay. TSA okay.  Jet Blue ….

http://gawker.com/hindu-man-mistaken-for-muslim-refused-service-by-jetblu-1188573629

Cute Overload

Posted: August 23, 2013 in America, Children, Jokes, Life, Love, Society
Tags: ,

It’s Friday! Lets laugh it up a bit! Kids and Marriage – with a twist.

http://youtu.be/BXg0GzEK9pU

http://youtu.be/0rbMHLDY1pA

 

Okay, I just need to share this. She’s adore.

http://youtu.be/twPV2VknZqY