Name That Poor Kid

Posted: July 20, 2013 in America, Children, Jokes, Life, Politics, Religion, sex, Society
Tags: ,

In an effort to be funny, weird and quirky, I’ve decided to make yet another list. Yes, totally self-indulgent!

I’m in that mood. This is a list of names that will insure your son will never get laid.

1. Grover – It’s an old name and is tailor-made for a huge man with a tiny appendage (i.e. Grover Norquist).

2. Jesus – There can be only one! Yes, I am speaking against my people. No mas!

3. Bartholomew – Yes you can turn it into Bart, but no girl wants to yell out Bart in the heat of passion.

4. Arthur – It was cool 400 years ago, but not now.

5. Butch – This is not a name. This is a very masculine lesbian.

6. Lawrence – It always turns into Larry and that is the most popular name for used car salesmen and porn stars.

7. John – Either he’s a toilet or he solicits prostitutes.

8. Hugh – sounds too close to huge and of course mind goes to a tiny appendage.

9. Blake – Can we say 80’s porn or soap opera star? Maybe both at the same time.

10. Abraham – There can be only two (down with G.O.D. and the stove-pipe hat Republican).

One more thing …… drop the name Zimmerman. George ruined it for everyone. His parents might change their name to Smith.

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