Damn Pills

Posted: July 20, 2013 in Bipolar, Health, Life, Love
Tags: , , , , ,

So I took all my pills last night. Fourteen pills in total! It took me back to my childhood days.

My mother and I use to visit the elderly members of our church. I saw them lay out their plethora of pills.

Watching little old ladies taking their pills was downright ritualistic.  I’m a bit less ritualistic, but I have more pills.

Even though every last pill is necessary, I find myself thinking about ways to justify not taking at least one of them.

Don’t worry. I’ll take them all nonetheless. I want my functional mind and body back.

Perhaps what I hate most is that I’m still young and plagued with disorders. In 7 days I turn 44.

I remember the Monica of 20 years ago. I was bohemian sexy, witty, smoking my Marlboro Lights and drinking like a fish.

I was also dealing with hyper-sexuality due to manic episodes, suicidal thoughts, cutting and fits of rage.

The flip side, were the bouts of depression. I barely ate, avoided showering and slept for days.  No one could end it. I had to ride it out.

Of course, I prefer to think of the cool version of myself. A lot of people tell me I’m still cool.

Maybe I am. I know that I am loved by family, friends (most are super cool chic) and perhaps my blog readers.

Okay, I’ll keep taking my pills like the little old church ladies. Then I’ll blog about something witty or cool.

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