Fathers

Posted: June 16, 2013 in Children, Life, Love, Men, Mexico, Society
Tags: , , ,

Today is a self-pity day for me. It’s Father’s Day and I’m envious of those that have them.

There are a few ‘father figures’ in my life. My father-in-law is one of them. I am grateful for his presence in my life.

Still, it forces me to look at my own father. What kind of father was he to me?  In short, he wasn’t.

I don’t say this with maliciousness in my heart. I’m just being painfully honest.  He was not raised to be a father.

The handful of times that I saw him he hugged and kissed me. He once bought me an ice cream cone.

He always spoke to me as if I was a little girl, but I was 16, in my 20’s and in my 30’s  when I saw him.

My father’s weaknesses robbed him of  his family. He was homeless when he died a hospital, but his children were there.

He never gave me guidance, wisdom or protection of any kind. What I got was what I gave to him, compassion and tenderness.

These are good things, but they were sporadic and not enough. I sought paternal love from a good man.

I got it from my grandfather. He had a quality heart and soul. He was generous with his time, affection and wisdom.

My grandfather Ignacio was the neighborhood handyman in Torreon, Mexico. He was self-educated gentle giant.

Whenever he entered the room the windows would tremble from his ‘Bueno!’ He liked to make an entrance.

Most importantly, he knew what mattered. He made me see my worth and ordered me to lose my conniving ways.

He was not politically correct. He was opinionated, loud and spoke plainly. It took him at least 24 hours to admit he was wrong.

He said the man who marries me will ‘luchar’ (struggle) just to stand next to me. I miss my gentle giant a great deal.

Sadly, he passed away 2 days before my wedding. And yes, he was right.  My abuelito (grandpa) saved the best parts of me.

Feliz Dia De Los Padres abuelito! I love you very mucho!

 

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