Archive for December, 2012

Laugh Through My Tears

Posted: December 29, 2012 in America, Life, Love, Men, Politics, sex, Society, women
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So in an effort to take my mind off my medical worries, I’ve made up a list of things you should never send in a text message.

1. I’m breaking up with you. (If you say this via text, you’re a douche bag!)

2. Can I come to your place tonight? Translation: I want to get laid (hook up) without spending money on you.

3. Go to your doctor. I have an STD.

4. I’m gay, lesbian or transgender. Pick your poison.

5. I’m pregnant, uninsured and 15 years old.

6. Sorry. I lost my job … two weeks ago.

7.  Off to Vegas with the guys (or girls)!

8. I wrecked your car, got a DUI and forgot to pay the car insurance.

9. Can you bail me out and bring me some clothes?

10. You’re so hot! Are you into sexting?

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Labeled the fairer sex, as soon as I took my first breath. Girl, miss, lady, chick, dame and woman are all acceptable.

When I think of my body it all boils down to my lady parts. The deep-seated awareness of hips, breasts, vagina, ovaries and uterus came to me when I was 12.

The holy trinity is, of course, my uterus and ovaries. Unseen but always remembered, I was born with a condition.

P.C.O.S – Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome would deny me a regular cycle, place a dark skin pigmentation around my neck and make me familiar with surgery.

Last July through August, I had 3 surgeries due to fibroids. The last surgery (endometrial ablation) was supposed to be the end of me having a period.

Every hour last night, I had to address my tyrannical menstruation. Apparently, the cells can grow back as long as I have a uterus and ovaries.

I am tired, sad, furious and feeling crazy. This Friday, I have an appointment with my OB GYN. Yet another ride!

There is only one word on my lips and mind. Hysterectomy. I want to murder the source of womanhood. As I type this out, my heart breaks.

Christmas Is Over

Posted: December 26, 2012 in Life, Love, Religion, Society
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Christmas 2012 is over. Wrapping paper, ribbons and tape left in the wake of gift giving.

All the family laughter, Christmas tree gazing and various versions of A Christmas Carol are done til next year.

How do I feel? I feel happy, tired and just a bit sad. I feel my body slowing down, but my mind and heart are young.

I refuse to let that part me go. I refuse to be a Latina Scrooge. I’d rather be a Latina Fezziwig.

Above all else, I’m grateful for my flannel pajamas, Christmas tree, throw blanket and super comfortable sectional sofa.

All these elements bring me to place of love, warmth and peace. I hope everyone can have that.

2013 …. I await your robust arrival!

 

Blah, Blah, Blah

Posted: December 22, 2012 in Friendship, Life, Love, Men, Religion, Society, women
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Just a few analogies, sayings and jokes I’ve use in my lifetime.

1. Are you hungry for tamales? My Answer: Is the Pope Catholic?

2. If you ever leave me, I’m coming with you.

3. You can’t die. You owe me $20.00.

4. You know bacon is pure fat, don’t you? My Answer:  Yes, that’s why I wrapped it around the pork chop.

5. Could you tell me your life’s story? I really need to fall asleep.

6. You’re not balding. Your scalp just wants to see the world.

7. I owe what? Do you have any supporting documentation to back-up this alleged claim?

8. Be good to everyone. One day, you may need character witnesses.

9. Of course, I love you. I haven’t stolen your identity, have I?

10. Shopping should be an Olympic sport. Those bitches don’t play!

So I have a few Christmas wishes to all my fellow bloggers, readers and okay, basically the world.

I wish all of us remember that we are celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ. Christ is our gift from God.

I wish for peace, love and God’s protective hand on everyone. I know that He is keeping our dearly departed safe in heaven.

I wish that all peacekeeping efforts everywhere will succeed and flourish in the coming year and forever more.

I wish the laughter of friends and family stay in all our ears. Those moments are priceless gifts from God.

I wish that those who have little to nothing find countless treasures of humanity and friendship.

I wish that all homes be blessed with giggles, pajamas, clock staring and little knocks on bedroom doors.

I wish I could give everyone in the world a tamale! Tamales are the key to world peace!

I wish that all of us sing (even off-key) with all are hearts. Singing moves me in ways unimaginable.

I wish everyone can watch ‘It’s A Wonderful Life’, ‘A Christmas Carol’. Both are great movies.

Lastly, I wish everyone finds themselves being held, hugged or cuddled with another loving soul. When we are born, human contact is needed immediately. I think it still is as we grow. Merry Christmas Everyone!

My torrent of tears laced with blinding anger is receding. I have no more heart or head for debate.

I need to watch the beautiful silliness of children. I need to breathe in chill breezes from parks.

I need to hold every child I know, very close to my heart. I need the blessings of humanity to restore me.

The random children I come across get my friendly words and silly faces. Their parents get my compliments.

In simply existing and being in my presence, little ones bring my heart to home. I wish this for all who need it.

No more debates, screams and fighting, you ax grinders.  I’d rather live with life-affirming children and Christ in my heart.

 

 

Here’s a list of people who can get firearms. If you can get even a pistol, you can kill more than one person in less than a minute.

1. Alcoholics – What if he loses his job or his house or gets humiliated by someone

2. Undiagnosed mentally ill – these people are everywhere. I will be the first to admit that I, as a bipolar, don’t want a gun in my house

3. Abusive adults and their punching bags – As a survivor of child abuse, I can tell you that if I had a gun I would have killed my abuser

4. Drunk hunters – everyone knows that beer and hunting go hand in hand in way too many places.

5. Drug addicts – If undiagnosed and desperate to get a fix or in an altered state these people can be dangerous

6. Victims of bullying – not just kids, adults get it too and they can snap

There are lots of people who have no criminal record or psychological record but fall into these categories.

I am not saying this will end violent crimes, but firearms are designed to kill quickly and in multiples.

And why do we need firearms? Because we’re afraid that someone can hurt us? Trust in God to protect you!

Well someone can hurt you. It’s the guy next door who invited you to come over to eat BBQ and have a beer.

He snapped because he lost his job of 20 years to a snot nose infant fresh out of college.