Emotional Stasis

Posted: November 12, 2012 in Friendship, Life, Society, women
Tags: , , , ,

Hindsight is 20/20, is a common phrase that most people know. This phrase applied to me several times in my life and will probably apply again.

About 10 years ago, a girlfriend (who I thought I could trust) conned me out of  $1000.00.  I struggled with infertility and she begged me to please adopt her daughter.

After the truth came to light, I told her that I forgave her. She responded like the addict she was. She cussed me out and headed into the wind. I never saw again.

I’m not a wealthy person. The loss of money hurt, but the betrayal hurt far more. I saw the filthy way she was living. I more than noticed her body odor and erratic mood swings.

It was clear that she was a drug addict and yet I didn’t see it. All I could think of was trying to help. Well, today she doesn’t need my or anyone’s help.

Every now and again, I google her name. I did it today and found out that she died 6 months ago. Someone I once called friend and enemy is dead.

I have no idea how to feel. I can’t cry and I’m not one to celebrate over anyone’s demise. The last time I saw her, I told her that I can sleep at night.

I am guilty of being a good friend to her and she has to live with the fact that she betrayed a friend. Now she doesn’t have to live with it, but I have to live with what I said to her.

  1. syrbal says:

    It is painful and difficult, isn’t it? I don’t think you said anything wrong to her, let yourself off that hook. You simply refused to keep enabling her habit. To have done otherwise, as she apparently would have desired was being what Christians sometimes call “an occasion to sin” FOR her….you were morally in the right.

    She is responsible for her choices. You? You might consider that she is free of her addictions and pain, and let it go at that.


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