Archive for November, 2012

In my 43 years of living, I have been on both sides of personal service. I refer to housekeepers, waitresses, manicurist ect. Any job that requires personal contact.

The list is long, I know. I think it is important to realize how amazingly important these jobs are for society.

You might think I’m crazy when I say that, but think about it.  Mothers are the unpaid members of this classification as well.

These people, in a nutshell, take care of you. They make your meals, home, car, hair and nails terrific.

We all get a universal benefit from good service. Rejuvenation! The intangible boost that makes us move forward and tackle the world.

My mother supported three kids by working as a waitress, church janitor and food server at a senor citizen center.

At a very young age, she told me never to go to a restaurant, salon or hotel unless I had tip money.

If I did go without tip money, it would be a slap in the face to her. Tips equaled survival for families, she told me.

As I got older, I found that it was my obligation and honor as a ‘regular’ to be understanding, humble and gracious.

If you’ve been going there for years, you should every person’s first name. Being an elitist is the same as being an asshole.

Oh, Yes She Is

Posted: November 30, 2012 in America, Children, Life, Love, Men, sex, Society, women
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Okay. This married lady is going to tell guys why they shouldn’t live with a girlfriend or marry her. I doesn’t pertain to all women, but it does to some.

1. Don’t move in or marry her if you think it will make her happy. She is responsible for her own happiness, not you.

2. Don’t move in to save money on rent and utilities. What if she’s a slob or drives you crazy with her bad habits and girlie invasion of the bathroom?

3. If she pays for everything in cash, it means she has bad credit and no checking account. Do not live with or marry her, she’s immature.

4. If she wants to live with you after knowing you less than 6 months, don’t do it. She wants to be kept.

5. If you’re on again, off again all the time, living with or marrying her won’t stop the merry-go-round. It will speed it up.

6. If she’s pregnant, start paying her child support before the baby arrives. 10% of your income is a good start and always pay her in checks (to keep record).  Make a fair assessment of your relationship prior to playing house. Good parents aren’t always good spouses.

So I was thinking about things I would say to guys when I didn’t want to date them. Bare in mind, I haven’t been single in over 13 years.

1. Keep calling him a name other than his actual name. Example : Call him Pete when his name is Mike.

2. I’ve got a pap smear the next day.

3. Sure, we can go out . I just can’t have sex, because I’m pregnant.

4. I wanna know your dreams, plans, childhood and your favorite color. By the way, do you love your parents?

5. My last boyfriend was huge, rich and so selfish. We still talk, though.

Negotiations

Posted: November 28, 2012 in Children, Life, Love, women
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Scenario: Wife and mother of three boys ages 5, 6 and 7 in a divorce settlement meeting with her husband.

Wife: You can have the house, cars, savings and the timeshare in Hawaii. I will ask for no alimony as well. Just one thing.

Our three screaming, vomiting, ADHD boys are going with you. Here’s their meds, schedules, phone numbers and emails to teachers and doctors.

Remember lover, you’re smarter than me and wished you had my job.

Husband: What kind of mother abandons her children?

Wife: The kind that needs a break and is in negotiations.

Missing A Limb

Posted: November 26, 2012 in Friendship, Life, Love, Society
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I have talked about my sister Carmen quite a bit on this blog. It should be clear that I am close to her.

I have another sibling as well. I rarely speak of my brother, Esteban. As I write this now, I can feel the ache welling up.

My relationship with my brother has always been awful, strange and loving. Not always in that order.

Many times, I wanted him to be the brother of my dreams. I wanted him to call. Just for the sake of calling, because he missed me.

I wanted him to share his goals, shortcomings and strengths. Most of all, I wanted him to lighten up. I wanted too much.

My brother is not that man. To me, he is aloof, judgemental, secretive and emotionally detached. The reason for his station in life is not important.

I am sure that I have committed some type of sin in his eyes. Bottom line, we are eternally flawed. There are things we can overcome.

There are things we refuse to overcome. I get that, but I have a problem. I pitifully, irrationally and hopelessly want my brother to love me.

On Valentine’s Day 2000, my brother walked me down the aisle and told me he was proud of me. He also said he loved me.

I have a picture of he and I dancing on my wedding day. We look really happy. It’s on the refrigerator door in my kitchen.

Siblings should love each other! My husband lost his brother Andy, October 11, 2010. He was a young, energetic and loved by many.

It isn’t fair that he die, but he did. My husband loves his brother and misses him. One day, one of us three will die or my mother.

Will the others come together? I hope so, but I don’t know. Regardless, I know how to live without my brother. Terrible, isn’t it?

Perfect Love

Posted: November 25, 2012 in Bipolar, Life, Love, Men, sex, women
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“I love her”, he proclaims with all his heart! More to the point, unexperienced heart. Why do you love her? Is she perfect?

My dear boy, I can assure you, she is not. Do you see pure love in her eyes? You may indeed see it. So what do you do now?

Love can be wonderful. Hell, I met and married my husband on Valentine’s Day 1999 and 2000. Our reception was in a castle!

We flew to Maui for our honeymoon and it just couldn’t get more romantic! For the moment, let’s forget about all the sugar.

Let’s talk about a frog I had to kiss, before I found my husband. I’m sure that being an undiagnosed bipolar added to my love problems.

I wanted a beautifully flawless, stallion of a man to want me more than air. Guess what? I found one and it wasn’t good.

I tried to break-up with him. He beat and choked me. Then damaged my bedroom window. He was arrested and a restraining order was put in place.

Why did this happen? He wanted me more than air! That’s not love, its obsession. I got what I wanted, right?

This whole thing about getting what you want can be tricky. Most people don’t really know what they want. So don’t say she or he is everything you want.

Imagine for a second that your married to an energetic, gorgeous, intelligent, wealthy person. What do you think your spouse is going to expect from you?

Can you meet the challenge? Are you good enough? I know I’m not. I know that I’m a hot mess! What’s my message, here?

Don’t look for perfection, because you are not perfect. Look for the one that will love you when you have nothing to offer in return.

There may come a day or many days when you will be incapable of sex, making money or even speech. The one by your side then, will be perfect for you.

I was thinking of things I want for my friends, family, writers, bloggers and anyone that feels depressed or oppressed. I guess you can call it a wish list.

1. May everyone be blessed with laughter, humor and joy.

2. I wish everyone be endowed with the courage to change for the better.

3. Death is a certainty. I hope that when death comes you are surrounded by love and tenderness.

4. I hope for the end of all types of suffering. It is man’s cruelest disease.

5. I wish that all the hate mongers, bigots and evil-doers of the world find peace, love and humanity.

6. I wish that all Christians begin to act like Christians. We need to walk in the spirit of Christ and leave the judging up to God.

7. I wish that all children be loved, cherished, protected and taught the beauty of knowledge.

In spight of everything, I love the world with her multitude of races, religions, cultures and traditions. I am blessed to be a member of such a world.