Smart Crazies

For those that are clueless about mental illness, I wish to raise an important issue. People often wonder why mental patients go off their meds. As a bipolar, I can tell you why this is so appealing.

Initially and occasionally, my meds made me feel stupid. I was unable to consistently read line after line, like everyone else does. I did a lot of backtracking and reading ahead.

This crazy method is incredibly frustrating and disheartening. I love books. I love learning. Therefore, I loathe anything that impedes the experience. So the meds were deemed evil.

Also, I miss being manic. Everything is better when your manic. Sex, work productivity, fun and creativity all benefit from mania. It is your self-made drug and costs nothing.

High IQs and mental illness often times go hand in hand. Einstein couldn’t tie his own shoe laces. He never learned how. The unibomber was schizophrenic and had a high IQ.

Beethoven self-medicated his bipolar disorder with alcohol. His fits of mania were well known in his circle of friends, and when he  was on a high (manic) he could compose numerous works at once.

Mania can also be exhausting and deadly when you come down from it. This is why meds are needed. That said, taking your meds is tantamount to killing your best friend.

I have cried many times because I miss my manic episodes. Then, there are days when I’m glad it’s not there. It is responsible for mental patients to take their meds, but I understand why they don’t.