Ideal Marriage

On Friday, my husband Scott and I headed south to San Diego, California to get away for a bit. During the drive, I felt compelled to share a plethora of easy and not so easy things on my mind.

My wonderful husband saw this purging as a means to get closer as a couple. I was (still am) grateful he took it that way. That conversation ended in ‘I love you’ from both of us.

I won’t go into great detail about our excursion. Basically, we stayed in a nice hotel, played backgammon, went to museums, ate good food and sang in the car.

The weather was good to us and the drives were pleasant. As we were driving back home, it occurred to me that we didn’t do a whole lot. We didn’t need to either.

It was about being together. I wonder if alone time with your spouse is universally cherished. Then I wondered about the notion of a perfect marriage. What exactly is that?

Given the choice, would most people want a ‘yes, dear’ marriage, where the house is spotless, meals are delicious and sex is spectacular? Or, the not-so-sweet version ?

Now, I truly respect the marriages that come off as ‘squeaky clean’ and idyllic. I’m just not that person and I don’t want to be that person. Fortunately, I have a husband that loves all of me (flaws and assets).

And at the end of the day, I love his flaws as well. We have been married for 12 years. We have had many arguments and ‘I’m sorry’ moments. I love our entire history, bumps and all.

If Scott were perfect, I might kill both of us. There is so much beauty in imperfections and flaws. Couples who are wealthy, possess healthy, toned faces and bodies get divorced all the time.

It’s easy to love without conflict, but real love comes from real trouble. You know she loves you if she stays while you’re unemployed, unable to make love and deeply depressed.

You know he loves you if he stays when you can’t give him babies, rarely cook and the house is mess! Not to mention, you will never work because you’re bipolar and suffer massive mood swings.

I can’t stand the thought of being away from my love. That is an existence, not a life. Driving around San Diego for over an hour looking for a diner and getting cranky is the stuff of life.

Getting very sick from eating too much and having a spouse care for you is true love. I wish that kind of love for everyone. That’s my ideal marriage.