Response To Evil

Posted: August 27, 2012 in Children, Life, Society
Tags: , , , , ,

As I was reading about victims of molestation, incest, physical and emotional abuse, I noticed the absence of a key element. The offender, also known as the monster, is immediately nullified.

He (some are women) is targeted and becomes the recipient of everyone’s hatred. It’s easier to mentally handle their very existence, if you treat, refer to and see them as less than human.

In the interest of full disclosure, I have and do pigeonhole child abusers in general. I just think it’s naive to suppress them without trying to understand them. Not forgive or condone, just understand.

Do they live with regret? Can they ever stop? Were all sex offenders sexually abused? Do they believe that they can never have a moral, decent life? How many of them are happy being sadists?

I have been in the presence of evil men, but it isn’t enough to call them evil. My first molester had a PhD in psychology and was an ordained minister.  I was sexually abused for 3 to 4 years.

I call him evil, because he was never happier than when he was torturing me. One of his relatives also molested me 3 times. His abuse did end for me, but God only knows how many suffered. Thankfully, he died of lung cancer.

When I was a teenage runaway at 16, I woke up in a strange house naked. It took me hours to find any clothes and then sneak off. I was most definitely raped, but I don’t think about it. I have enough baggage.

I’ve been told child molesters do it to gain power and control. I guess that was taken from them. If that’s the case, why aren’t I a sex offender?  Twenty years ago, I had a friend with 2 kids.

Her daughter’s name was Amy and son’s name was John. Sometimes I would babysit them. One day while bathing Amy, I noticed her vagina was red and inflamed. She was 3 years-old.

When I told my friend what I saw, she freaked out. I told her we had to take Amy to the hospital. She said no and she knew who did it.  She was sure it was Amy’s father.

I was prepare to go to jail for murder back then. As she screamed, pummeled and scratched the father, he begged me to call the police. I called, Amy went to the hospital and murder was avoided.

She had a food allergy reaction. Her hymen was intact. All was forgiven and we could all relax. Years later, Amy was molested by her half-brother. Nothing was done.

He apologized to her, his father beat him with his belt and Amy stayed away for several years. Mike might be in jail right now. I don’t know.

I just ask myself, why the hell didn’t they do more? He was barely a teen when he molested her.  Their father is father to 15 kids, by 4 different women. His mother used to talk about how ‘big’ he was.

How far back does it go? When will it stop? All of us, at some point, come across people who are perverse in some way. Are we willing to say something? I hope the answer is yes.

  1. Doris says:

    I do not get this, why people don’t do anything about, it in the family my cousin was rape by a man who worked for my grandpa. My mother told me the story recently, she is bipolar too, but she does not want to get meds (that is a whole other story I want to talk to you). But, the sad part of this nobody did anything to him, nobody, he committed suicide years later after doing this to other girls. I told my mother why they did not send him off or put him in jail. She said it was other times. That is no true, still happening to this day.


  2. ashanam says:

    I don’t think most child molesters are sadistic. Some are, but I don’t think most are. They are sexually attracted to children, and I would imagine that power and control are part of it, but not the pain. They defend themselves against guilt about the harm they are doing by refusing to see the pain they are causing or by holding the child responsible for their actions. Their thinking is extremely distorted.


    • coconutspeak says:

      I appreciate your input.. The purpose of the post was to incite a dialog that would lead to prevention of all types of child abuse. I do believe that a fog falls over many people that prevents them from acting on behalf of children.


      • ashanam says:

        I agree. It think it is sometimes so incomprehensible that people don’t know how to respond or refuse to believe it is happening, or at least refuse to believe that it happens as often as it does. Understanding can allow people to act.


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