Bully Talk

Posted: August 23, 2012 in Children, Life, Society
Tags: , , , , , ,

In the interest of full disclosure, I am not a parent and/or guardian.  This is just me saying what’s on my mind. I was thinking about bullies the other day.

There was a show about why kids kill. In this case, the bully was killed by a bunch of kids that hated him. One of these kids was his best friend.

I was a victim of bullies in and out of my house. My brother, Esteban, was my live-in bully.  Black girls, Armenian boys, downright Aryan-looking boys and girls taunted and physically abused me to no end.

In the 80’s and I’m sure before that,  it was acceptable to suffer through this rite of passage. Sometimes I stood up for myself, but mostly I just took my licks.

In the aftermath, the usual fantasies consumed my youthful brain. My very public suicide with my tell-all letter plastered throughout school campus, was a reoccurring dream.

Then there was terrorizing the bullies under the cloak of night or hearing about their torturous demise executed by a vengeful God. Those awful thoughts were only thoughts.

When I hear about kids executing these horrific acts of revenge I ask myself, how close was I. The answer frightens me. Then I think of the kids and parents of today.

Parents are told not to spank their kids, because it will teach them to solve their problems with violence. Then there are kids who wear out their parents til the parents cave.

I’ve seen parents trying to be their kids’ best friend. I’ve heard kids cussing out their parents. I’ve heard of kids having sex in their parents’ bed, getting caught and ordering the parent to leave!

All that is just plain crazy to me. I was afraid of my mother. She, of course, beat me with a belt or extension cord whenever I did something wrong.  Years later, I told her she abused me. She agreed and apologized.

That said, I had friends that were afraid of their parent(s) even though they were never hit or beaten. Why aren’t kids afraid of their parents? Maybe parents want their kids’ approval.

Maybe parents are kids themselves. Maybe kids haven’t been given enough self-esteem, confidence, time with family, the truth or wisdom. Perhaps the kids feel like they’re a bother, problem or a chore to their parent(s).

If this is the case, what is the solution?  I don’t know. I just wish society (not just parents) contributed to this dialog. No child is born a bully or victim. Revenge only destroys. Real justice is in the prevention of a bully mind.

  1. Doris says:

    This is crazy I been wanting to post a poem I did about a friend who was bullied last year, it is very small, but is something she said to me (but she is old and was bullied all last year). I think kids learned to be bullies thru their families, specially their parents and also their friends. Kids are like sponges and they do what they see, All this anger is pass on to them, also to be accepted they act like their friends. What you said at the end is true they are thought to have revenge, sometimes the use words other physical attack, but is society that does that. Good post.


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