Given The Chance

Posted: August 20, 2012 in Bipolar, Love
Tags: , , , , ,

Tonight I heard that ‘Top Gun’ director, Tony Scott committed suicide by jumping off a bridge. He left behind 13-year-old twin sons. Our fighting men and women are ending it all as well, in alarming numbers!

Lost 6 figures in the stock market? No problem, blow away the family then yourself! Owe over 10K in credit card debt and still in college ? No problem, take those pills! Why is this mindset even an option?

We need something to reach for when we’re drowning.  Maybe God, loved ones, the hope of seeing the Mets win the World Series… something has to be there to cling onto. Big or small, doesn’t matter.

Odds are good that if I was never afflicted with manic depression, I still would have considered suicide. Why is this? Suicide was everywhere in my Southern California world.

It was downright fashionable in the 70s, 80s and well, who am I kidding? It has always been viewed as cool to some degree. I’m pretty sure most of my friends considered it more than a handful of times.

I have been on both sides of suicide negotiations. When I was begging for someone to live, I sometimes I used angry taunts. ‘Fuck you for leaving me like this!’  ‘If you go, I go and that’ll make you a murderer!’ Got that one from ‘Lethal Weapon’! And the ever popular, ‘You don’t die til I let you’!

The flip side was using humor. ‘I just bought a new bucket of ice cream! How am I suppose to eat it by myself?’  ‘You can’t die! I don’t have a damn thing to wear to the funeral.’ And my favorite one, ‘Kill yourself and I’ll kill your dog’.

All kidding aside, suicide was not only serious, but infectious. Anyone who saw the movie ‘Heathers’ or heard about Jonestown or Waco, knew that mass suicides were more than plausible.

So here are totally untrained person’s reasons to live:

1. You don’t have the right to break the heart of anyone who ever loved, liked, respected or cared about you in any way, shape or form.

2. The ability to go outside and feel the sunshine on your face is a freedom denied to countless people throughout history.

3. The joy of giving and receiving a smile or kind word is priceless. Not everyone has that.

4. In today’s society anyone can monumentally fail and recover, but you must redefine what’s important.

5. Help is everywhere! You are never alone. There are support groups for people that need help finding a support group!

6. Losing everything means at some point you get new stuff. Just ask the Katrina Disaster folks.

7. Surviving something horrible is the best way of saying ‘fuck you’ to Satan and anyone else that thought you were weak.

8. Life is full of freedoms. Exploit every last one of them!

9. This is minor, but true. If this post saves one life, I will be eternally happy and grateful.

10. Life is Awesome, given the chance!

I have gone from squatting in an old house without utilities and barely getting a daily meal to dining well in New York,  San Francisco, San Diego, Guadalajara, Maui and Kauai.  Hold on and give it a chance!

  1. Doris says:

    I like number 7…I have to tell you something about my self, why I am overly positive and a rebel in my own world, my father die of cancer and my life change…it did not stop, It thought me to be strong and to live life. I have my bad days like everyone, but life is beautiful. Like how you put this, a little help goes a long way.


  2. coconutspeak says:

    I am so glad your in this world and that I know you.


  3. Doris says:

    Me too, I learning to know you thru this blog, and loving every moment of it.


  4. chicapoet says:

    It’s true, at the time of our great darkness, we must find something or someone worth living for. You just can’t give up. There are better days come, Depression and anxiety come and go. It’s our responsibility to find renewed joy in your life, no one can make the choice for you.

    Suicide is always a sad ordeal. Although I considered it many times when I was younger, I rarely think about now. I’ve realized that life continues, sadness eventually goes away,..

    We shouldn’t give in to suicide; think about the sisters and brother’s you’ll behind, the parents who wont ever forget…or the children you’ll leave fatherless/motherless. They need you, and you need them, it’s as simple as that.


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