I am my own worse enemy. I have been drilled with good advise on setting boundaries many times in my life. I agreed with this philosophy. But then my resolve drops likes a prom dress!
I always feel like I need to be the savior in so and so situation ….. or else! Why do I do this to myself? I can feel the anxiety building up inside and I can feel the pain left knee! I have to be reliable. I’ve been reliable all my life. I don’t know how to retire.
I am guilt-ridden for so much. I’m ashamed for my knee’s lousy performance. I’m ashamed for how I look. I’m ashamed for lacking in the wife department. Most of all, I’m ashamed for being this bottomless pit of approval and admiration.
Right here. Right now. I can’t imagine why anyone could even like me, much less love me. I can’t even believe I just typed that out. If this sounds like I need medical attention, I don’t. I will not harm myself. I’m just a little fractured.